Why this is it...

It seemed appropriate to transition out of the fog of our childbearing days and blog into a new phase of our child rearing days and a startling recognition that, HOLY SHIT this is going by really fast, just like every  mama with grown kids said it would. LIFE. Our babies are getting bigger. They won't stop growing. Rosie is talking and making jokes and climbing and falling. Life. It's fleeting, yet full. Some moments are small, yet so poignant.

I am reading a book about meditation. I figure after years of needing to wear a bite guard at night to protect my teeth from all the grinding I had better get serious and start to find better ways to cope with stress. My dentist says I'll be needing this bite guard for a while. He says, this is the hardest time of my life. He says it gets easier, just look at him. Well, first of all he's a soon to be retired dentist so I don't think he has a lot of financial worries. His kids are grown, and the real evidence, every time I call to make an appointment the office is closed for a week or more because he's on vacation. Yep, I think he's right, life with young children is HARD. It challenges you every single moment of every single day. But I didn't really need him to tell me that. I knew this already intellectually, emotionally, deep in my bones. What I needed from him was a new bite guard to replace the one I lost while sleep walking at night which replaced the one I had worn thin and cracked. And I got it. But I am hoping that maybe I won't be wearing this one out. I am hoping to find more peace, and grace, to stop and notice, to breathe, to remember that this is it. And by this I mean really trying to be present as much as I can. To let go of the worry, of the past or future and just be.  Along the way I'd like to take some time to write and share as a way to connect and record some of these moments for my kids, myself, for my family and friends.

I think it takes great courage to stop, and notice, and then express all the feelings that come with attempting to live life to its fullest in an authentic way.  And even more so, to stop, and notice, and attempt to understand or empathize what another being might be feeling, how they might be experiencing the world, to find a way toward compassion. I'd like to do these things better. I'd like to work toward this way of being with my kids. Because this is it.....

the hardcore preschool picnic in the crazy intense storm. a committed group of nature lovin' parents and their excited kids braving the downpour to attend an end of the year picnic in a pavilion that had holes in it. Thirty minutes in the clouds broke, the rain stopped, the sun came out, there was a rainbow. Oh yeah. 

for R, a braid, in her short, curly hair, to match her sister. it was important. 

for E, tonight at bedtime all he wanted was to have his sister help him brush his teeth. To him it was the most important thing in the world. To us it was just one more strange demand that was going to stall bedtime.  We ended up making a big deal about and we caused the delayed bedtime. Really, what was the big deal? A brushed his teeth, I finished the job, and added a few silly brushings of his nose teeth and chin teeth, and he was as happy as could be. We should know not to step into the ring with an overtired 4 year old.

for A, a snuggle fest, but no breathing on her forehead, because she just doesn't get the same snuggle time as she used to, but then an accidental button snagging on her neatly braided hair, ouch. Woke up R, oops. Breathe, right. Everyone back to sleep, thankfully. And this is when I thought of the blog title. I had spoken with a friend at a preschool picnic this evening about our blog. He said, I know you're busy living, but when you get a chance blog again because I enjoy reading it. I said, I know, I enjoy blogging but I can't think of a title. That conversation,  the book I have been reading, and just settling into the moment with A in her bed, snuggled up next to her, led me here, tonight, staying up late, to write and begin the YpsiPopBomb remixed to Between Chaos and Kale.

So here we go folks!